Revisiting my childhood back yard in Carroll County, MD as an adult (August 2009). The corn is still taller than me!
My journey began at ~6 years old, with the simple observation that a wound on my hand resembled the beef on my dinner plate. I inquired about this to my family, and of course one of my brothers or father (or all three) gave an overly candid answer which my mother immediately scolded. "But cows are my friends," I thought. We lived on a street with a dairy farm at the end of it, and I always just loved the unique spirit of cows, as strange as that might sound.
A few years later, I would frequently play on a farm run by the parents of one of my childhood friends. We would play in the cow pastures, and we would pick the apples from a particular apple tree and feed them to this one cow who always seemed to enjoy my company. I would grab an apple for me and an apple for this cow, and it was the most remarkable experience to just munch on apples with this cow. I couldn't fathom that these beautiful creatures were for eating. That just did not make sense to me. One day, my friend had to go help her family to slaughter a pig for dinner that evening. I waited outside and blocked my ears from the sounds.
I already had begun to reduce my meat and dairy intake due to medial issues; I noticed that after meat or dairy I would not be able to play like the other kids and I would instead have to lie down for a half hour or more. But I still generally ate meat. Then at age 11, I bit into a blood vessel in a steak. This distressed me greatly. I think one of my parents taught me the word "vegetarian" during this ordeal because the next thing I remember is that I stood on the front steps of our home and declared to my mother, "when I grow up, I want to be a vegetarian." It took another year for me to understand that "vegetarian" is not an occupation and is not restricted to adults! I believe it was my mother who corrected this assumption.
In 1998, we moved, and in our new town we saw some animal rights activists at a parade. They seemed mean and angry. I did not like them. They made me want to eat meat and wear a fur coat out of spite. I wanted nothing to do with people who take traumatizing photos to a parade with children there. They just seemed like cold, hard, mean people. This delayed my going vegetarian for at least a year. I felt concerned that if I did, such an attitude would be my destiny.
I had no role models or examples of "friendly" vegetarians. I had no guidance. That was in 1998. But in 1999, our library got computers with the Internet. I joined a message board for Savage Garden fans (because that is what you do when you are a 12-year-old girl in 1999). While waiting for images of the band to download to our floppy discs, we would often chat in an instant messaging platform. Through my interactions with fans around the world, I finally met some friendly vegetarians who could provide some guidance. I became pen pals with one, and we would send each other printed photographs of our veggie burgers and green tea via U.S. Postal Service. Those were the days to be alive! During this time, it turned out that our new neighbors were vegetarian as well, and this provided me with another important example.
My 13th birthday, during which I was transitioning to vegetarianism.
By April 2000, I was completely lacto-ovo-vegetarian. During that first summer, a camp counselor asked me if I was vegan. I asked him what that was. In April 2001, I read up on the realities of egg and dairy production. Coupled with my existing digestive issues, I was fully convinced. I decided to go vegan. I spent hours and hours on the internet learning new recipes, new ways of thinking about food, and how to cook and bake vegan food.
Middle school was difficult already and this just added fuel to the fire. Boys teased me and even threw pieces of cooked hamburger meat at me (!) in the cafeteria while laughing at me. They thought it was funny to antagonize me for some reason. I found it just boring. Girls were much more intelligent, receptive, curious, and open to trying new things, and many asked to try my chocolate soy protein bars or chocolate soy milk. One day our English teacher brought soy milk for everyone to try; she had experienced it during her travels to Asia which she often told us about. This made me feel included and a lot less "weird." Back then non-dairy milks and vegan specialty items were just a tiny standalone freezer at Harris Teeter. Now days you can find so many kinds of non-dairy milks, protein bars, and meatless meats at an ordinary grocery store. The world has changed quite a lot since then.
A delicious vegan, organic wedding cake baked by Talley's Green Grocery (October 2005).
In 2005, at 18 years old, I married and had a kitchen of my own and was eager to cook for my new husband. We quickly established a vegetarian home, complete with "This fridge is a meat-free zone" magnets from Pangea for the refrigerator. Over the years, I learned a lot about cooking, and eventually earned two degrees (a BS and an MS) in human nutrition. I co-founded the University's first Vegetarian Society (Winthrop Vegetarian Society), and led the Jewish Student Network. In the early years of our marriage, we became more Torah observant, including navigating how to plan Ashkenazi vegan Passover menus. We grew and learned a lot together, my spouse's veganism emanating from a different set of motivations and at times more militant and optimistic than my own (he believed that the world would be completely vegetarian in 100 years; I'm way more cynical than that). We spent much time during our college years cooking for friends, including for the Winthrop Vegetarian Society's annual vegan Thanksgiving feast, Passover seders, and more. The kitchen was a place where we bonded deeply and shared the joy of providing for each other and our friends, and grocery shopping together was a deeply comforting ritual, which often involved me nagging him about consuming too much sugar and him nagging me about not being able to wait until we got home to open things (especially sugary treats of my own).
Handing out Vegan Outreach leaflets to students at the 2010 Winthrop convocation.
During graduate school I took a brief student fellowship with the Shamayim V'Aretz Institute which challenged me to reconnect with my activist/advocate self. This was challenging work, but a really good experience overall.
Throughout my journey, I have noticed that I most enjoy just talking with people. My favorite activity is simply sitting behind a booth, handing out friendly guides on how to reduce meat/animal product intake, and just listening to people's stories, challenges, and perspectives. One of my favorite stories was this time that I was working a table and had a good conversation with a Southern gentleman who was wearing hunting attire. We held the common view that the large, confined animal feeding operations we were discussing were a terrible thing that should be stopped. You might be surprised where your allies in a cause come from.
In my 30s, I took the opportunity to pursue a lifelong dream of converting to the religion of my father, which meant moving to an Orthodox community. Alone and new to the Orthodox community, I was fearful that veganism would pose a challenge, especially when eating at other people's houses. Fast forward to 2020, and I was in the mikvah and becoming a geirus after eating at over 25 different homes! It's actually not been so bad, and most people in our community are aware of this and comfortable with it. A lot of people are curious and often ask what kind of things I eat. I decided to share more publicly here.
I decided to create this blog space because I receive so many requests for recipes that I wanted to stop having to dig through my inbox or bookmarks to find them over and over again and just have everything in one place and direct people to it. I'm really just putting this all here to save time! It will also make it easier for me to find recipes and links when I need them, G-d willing.
Tzedakah Opportunity: If you enjoy this blog, please consider making a contribution to the Hearts & Hands Food Pantry in Huntersville, NC. They keep an Amazon Wishlist, which they update monthly so that you can donate from wherever you are. This food pantry serves the community that my late former spouse grew up in, and is near the home he was living in when we courted. Food security was an issue that he was very passionate about because of his own experience with it growing up. Multiple stories from our early years together involve this aspect of his life, including going with him to one of the local food pantries to pick up food for his family. No child should go hungry for any reason.